An Intimate In Home Couples Session, and a Wedding Photographer opens up about what she has learned through being with other couples and in her own marriage.
I am a huge champion of marriage. I think it is one of the most useful and beautiful of all social constructs. I mean, obviously: As a wedding photographer I spend almost all my time helping brides and grooms to plan out their perfect day, and then spend the whole day with them to capture those once in a lifetime emotions and moments.
But as awesome as it is, the truth is marriage can be hard! It takes a lot of work to make it successful and enjoyable. Based on my vast, unofficial knowledge of life, the universe and everything, here are my top 3 things that every marriage needs in order to be successful.
If you’ve ever been a kid with siblings, or seen brothers and sisters together, you’ll know that they FIGHT CON STANT LY! Like “Mom, she’s looking at me!” And “Dad, he is pretending to touch me!”
It’s almost impossible to live with someone ALL the TIME and not get annoyed easily but the little, unimportant things. I think we all understand that truth with kids, so why are we surprised when it’s the same with married couples?
Patience means speaking in a not-annoyed voice after a long day at work. Patience means letting your spouse make pasta they way they want to instead of how you do. It means giving them the benefit of the doubt and trying to understand how they feel.
The beginning of a new relationship is so easy. It’s exhilarating and fun and seems almost effortless. But a marriage is supposed to last forever, which means that it won’t always be new. It will become normal. And normal is rarely exciting.
On thing I love to do with couples – whether during engagement sessions, weddings, or with couples who have been married for a long time during portraits – is to bring them back to the beginning.
Remember what it was that first drew you to each other. Remember what you love and what you appreciate about the other person. Remember all their good qualities. Talk about when your relationship was new: when he wrote you that love song and you went out for coffee three times a day. You’ll be amazed how quickly that feeling of connection returns when you allow yourself to remember.
In my opinion, Forgiveness is by far the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT thing to a successful marriage.
You will hurt your partner. You will get hurt. Because your relationship is so intimate, the hurts will be deep. You will have to – HAVE TO – learn to forgive. Forgive the small things. Forgive the big things. Talk about them together, and don’t stew over them. Then let them go and move on.
If you can forgive, then you can really love.
Like I said, I want to see marriages succeed. Being a photographer gives me such a unique opportunity to be a part of a couple’s love story. I love reminiscing with couples about how they met. I love encouraging couples to affirm each other and speak words of love.
This intimate in home couples session was such a simple but profound time for the couple to connect, and didn’t require any fancy locations or props. These kinds of sessions are so beautiful because they can showcase the bond a couple has.